it's careful admiration, a kind of liking new to me and i have been trying to stifle it as my imagined 'picture' can be daunting. to some, they may think it's the worst profanity. these 'some' have set their measures for me, unsolicited-ly. if i act beyond it, i'm damned and they will make me live my every day in guilt and shame. been there, done that.
the person joined the gang by osmosis, so as my admiration. i thought my stifling went fluid but everyone is little by little creating a fiasco. now my dreamed cloud nine is, er, clouded.
i did try to fend it off, my feelings. it was supposed to be easy. but gaaaad, it seems to be vine-ing.
so i say beseechingly, stop looking. i just want this free from judgment.
